Wedding bills: $28,427 to get hitched

It doesn't have to cost a lot to get married, but we sure do like spending money on weddings.

According to TheKnot.com's annual "Real Weddings Study," the average couple spent $28,427 to get hitched in 2012.

This amount does not include the cost of a honeymoon, by the way.

That's a 5.2% increase from the previous year, which isn't surprising: The cost of just about everything has gone up.

But site co-founder Carley Roney thinks there's another reason.

"Couples are increasingly less concerned with the economy and are comfortable investing more than ever in the once-in-a-lifetime experience of planning their wedding and making it a fabulous experience for their guests," Roney said in a press release that accompanied the study results.

The study also notes that the average wedding budget did not increase between 2008 and 2010. Anybody but me remember what was happening during those years? And what's still happening to plenty of Americans?

Some startling numbers
A site called The Wedding Report came up with a slightly lower figure: $25,656 excluding honeymoon, an increase of less than 1% over its previous year's amount. However, that site surveyed only 5,650 women versus TheKnot.com's more than 17,500 brides.

I suppose I should be delighted that consumer confidence may be on the rise. However, I think that spending so much could smack of overconfidence -- the feeling that things will always go your way.
Maybe they will. But you could certainly help them along by being intentional about your spending. The wedding-cost breakdown from TheKnot.com includes items like: 

• Engagement ring, $5,431; wedding gown, $1,211.
• Wedding planner: $1,847.
• Ceremony site, $1,711; reception venue: $12,905.
• Rehearsal dinner, $1,135; catering, $63 per person; wedding cake, $560.
• Ceremony musicians, $554; reception band, $3,084; reception DJ, $988.
• Photographer: $2,379; videographer, $1,619.
• Flowers/decor: $1,997.

Alternatives exist to some of the "average" expenses cited. If you go to a church that doesn't charge members for use of the facility, you can save a ton (especially if there's space for the reception on the premises). Perhaps you can buy your gown secondhand ("Worn only once!"), or even lease one from a site such as Rent The Runway. College music majors are often willing to sing or provide chamber music for the ceremony.

Some couples skip the band and/or disc-spinner in favor of smartphone apps like "Wedding DJ." More and more people are using e-vites (some of which are free) instead of paper invitations.

And remember, the job of "wedding planner" is a fairly recent invention. People were getting married long before someone was willing to charge money to help you obsess over just the right color for the save-the-date cards.

Fairy tales cost money
I can hear the entitled wails now:

But it's my special daaaaay!

It has to be perfect!

I want the fairy tale!

Isn't that how we got ourselves in trouble in the first place -- by willing and total immersion into a consumeristic mentality? By coveting more than we could cover?

Put another way: The average U.S. income is $39,959, according to the Social Security Administration. That average citizen would have to spend 71% of a year's pay on an "average" wedding.

Obviously it's up to you to decide whether the fairy tale is worth it. But letting the wedding industry decide what you "need" for your nuptials is like asking the barber if you need a haircut.

How many months (or years) do you want to spend paying for one day? And couldn't that $28,427 have bought you something a little more lasting?

After all, you'd still be married even if you spent just one-fourth of that amount. Would you willingly pay more than $21,000 for a wedding DVD and a few albums of photographs?

Readers: Got any tips for keeping wedding costs at a reasonable level?

More on MSN Money:

• How to pay off wedding debt
• 10 marriage-busting money mistakes
• A grand slam wedding at Denny's?