Top 5 ways to kill your iPhone

Are you one of those people who has to upgrade with every iPhone iteration? Let me give you two pieces of advice: 

• The iPhone 5 is probably just as hard to hold on to as its predecessors.
• IPhones can't swim.

Impact and water are the top dangers to iPhones, according to a new survey from the consumer electronics warranty company SquareTrade. And it's costing users a pretty penny.

Think "billions."

Some $5.9 billion has been spent on insurance deductibles, repair and replacement since the brand's 2007 introduction, the report says. Not that everyone is willing to pay big bucks for repairs: 6% of the 2,000 survey respondents said they used tape on their cracked phones.

The top five ways phones are damaged or destroyed: 

1. Phone dropped from hand.
2. Phone fell into a toilet, swimming pool or lake.
3. Phone dropped from lap.
4. Phone knocked off a table.
5. Phone drenched by "some liquid."

"We were astonished at how many people drop their phones in the toilet, as well as how frequently an innocuous drop from the hand actually killed the device," says Ty Shay of SquareTrade.

The iPhone 5 isn't immune to hacking, either. For tips on how to protect yourself, see "IPhone 5: How to keep it secure."

It's a little scary to think of spending so much money on a piece of hardware and then dropping it in the drink. Given how some people consider smartphones to be extensions of their brains, I guess they don't want to quit tweeting or Facebooking even long enough to use the toilet.

(Seriously: Stop it. No one wants to see that particular status update.)

Bathroom mishaps
But one guy I know says that men like taking smartphones into the restroom because it gives them something to read. No need to carry a rolled-up newspaper under your arm, which means that (A) you get newsprint on your shirt, and (B) everybody knows where you're going and what's about to go down.

(None of the women I know take reading material into the can. Is this a man thing?)

The same guy told me that a common mishap is the smartphone sliding out of one’s shirt pocket when they lean over to flush. It almost happened to him, in fact, but he made a save that would have drawn applause from Willie Mays. That near loss was enough to make him "far more careful" ever since.

• Bing: Top-selling smartphones in the U.S.

But what if you bobble that particular save and your iPhone gets baptized? Or suppose your cellphone ends up in the washing machine? Try the dry-out tips in this Smart Spending post, "Cell phone in the toilet bowl?" Another guy I know sent his smartphone through the wash and was able to resuscitate it using the rice technique noted in the post.

Obviously, you should check your pockets very carefully before dumping clothes in the washer. I'd also suggest not taking your phone into the bathroom. You might wind up like the poor sap who tried to fish his cellphone from a commuter-train toilet and wound up with his arm stuck in the commode. This New Yorker's need to be rescued (by the fire department, not a plumber) caused a massive backup of the evening commute out of Grand Central Station.

Worse: His name wound up in the paper. Imagine the ribbing he took from co-workers every time he took a bathroom break.

Readers: What's the weirdest way you ever damaged a cellphone?

More on MSN Money:

• Picking the right iPhone plan
• Lose your smartphone? Uh-oh
• IPhone 5 vs. 4S: What's the better buy?
• Does your kid need the new iPad?