3/22/2012 10:11 AM ET|
The cure for shopping addicts
If you shop and spend compulsively, you're not alone. Here's how to change -- or how to support someone who is trying to overcome an addiction.
Almost everyone wants to spend less money. For some people, that means first overcoming a shopping addiction.
About 5% of Americans suffer from compulsive shopping, and even more struggle with lesser forms of overspending, says Terrence Shulman, the founder of the Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding. As spending money has become easier through the Internet and credit cards, Shulman says more people seem to experience problems with self-control.
Being surrounded by a culture that emphasizes materialism exacerbates the problem, Shulman adds. "Everyone wants a slice of the American pie -- a nice outfit, a nice car, a nice home. So people feel impatient or entitled to live the life of the rich and famous. . . . People with shaky self-esteem or self-worth are particularly vulnerable," he says.
Signs of shopping addiction include the inability to stop oneself from making purchases, conflicts with loved ones over expenditures and lying about shopping. While many people love shopping, people who do so compulsively do it despite negative consequences, such as going deep into debt, says Jon Grant, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota, which houses a clinic for impulsivity disorders. "They might get a lot of enjoyment from buying the item, but by the time they get home they're uninterested. . . . It's not about the acquisition of the item itself, it's about the experience of acquiring it. They get a rush from it," he says.
In some cases, compulsive shopping overlaps with compulsive hoarding, in which people accumulate so much stuff that it interferes with their lives and living spaces, says Gail Steketee, a professor at the Boston University School of Social Work and co-author of "Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding." Treatment through therapy often helps, and it takes about six months to a year to make significant changes.
Shulman adds that for some, emotional deprivation, or feeling unloved, plays a role, just as it does with other compulsions, such as addiction to food, drugs or sex. "We try to do that painful work in therapy, to find another way to find love and feel love," he says.
If you or someone you know has a shopping addiction, experts suggest the following:
Be nonjudgmental. "People don't like to disclose they feel out of control, and they feel embarrassed by the amount of debt they have," says Grant.
Give a helping hand. Grant says that if a family member is willing to take over the checkbook or finances of a person struggling with compulsive shopping, it can help that person regain control. If that's too much of a burden, a professional money manager can fill that role, he says.
Discuss gifts in advance. Instead of splurging on pricey presents, families and friends can talk ahead of time about exchanging skills or favors such as house cleanings.
Consider therapy. Grant says cognitive behavioral therapy that encourages people to understand their actions and the longer-term consequences can help. It can also teach people skills such as using cash instead of credit cards or not going to stores when they feel depressed or stressed.
Look at possible medications. While studies on the effects of medications on compulsive shopping haven't reached any hard-and-fast conclusions, antidepressants or antianxiety medications are sometimes helpful, Shulman adds.
Check out 12-step programs. Most towns and cities have Shoppers Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous or Overspenders Anonymous programs that operate much like Alcoholics Anonymous. "For some people, it becomes a spiritual path," says Shulman.
Find new activities. Compulsive shoppers often need to replace old habits and even friendships with new, healthier ones. Possible shopping alternatives can include sports, book clubs or cooking.
More from U.S. News & World Report:
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What do I really need. Good relationships. $500 minimum of debt per month and $300 for food and gas for the month.
Now if the jobs are just paying $10 hour and I just have $400 left I most likely will need to go in debt because I have been
forced into poverty. Now if I still had my job paying $4000 a month I would not have to cut back so much. The $400 left I use $200 to put in an IRA to get a tax refund and I know I lose that on the market before I get the refund. Leaving me $200 a month to put in the savings. $1200 a year. At age 50 I would make $10,000 by 60 and be able to put a down payment on a forclosed mortgage. I still pay mortgage until I am 90. Or I do as the rich file bankruptcy and start all over again.
I love my country and I wonder if the addiction is part of our culture from the top to the bottom. Therapy shoud be free to every american because we all have the same issue.
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