Cap'n Crunch crushes questions about his rank
With wit as sharp as his namesake cereal, the 50-year-old cartoon mascot cuts down a blogger's case that he's a mere commander.
Earlier this month -- because this is exactly the type of pedantic, insufferable society the Internet era has turned us into -- Canadian food blogger Charisma Madrang pointed out that Cap'n Crunch's uniform indicates he's not actually a captain but a commander. Madrang noted that a captain typically wears four stripes on his or her sleeve, while seaman Crunch wears only three.This week, via his YouTube channel (because he apparently still has enough rank to warrant one of those), the animated mascot offered a response to those "mutinous ramblings." That reply boiled down to one basic declaration: Good work, genius.
"You may have noticed a few other things about me,'' he explains in the video (above). "I have four fingers. My first mate's a dog. My eyebrows are attached to my hat, for crunch sake!"
He's also never been aboard a ship unless it stocked his cereal in the galley and isn't on active duty with any naval fleets or maritime organizations. Also, after the Cap'n took to Twitter to defend his cell-shaded self, his followers noted that anyone who leads a ship can be called a captain.
Never mind that his official rank is actually "Cap'n," which doesn't have a uniform designation under naval code. Horatio Magellan Crunch has been sailing seas of milk on his S.S. Guppy since 1963 and comes from a long line of intrepid cartoon explorers, including Rocky and Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman and Dudley Do-Right -- all created by cartoonist Jay Ward.
As a seafaring merchant, Cap'n Crunch's record is unimpeachable to his "Swift-boating talk-show host rivals." This is his 50th year of hawking his flagship brand, and he's been getting folks on board for spin-offs like Peanut Butter Crunch and Crunch Berry for nearly as long.
Cap'n Crunch is so exceptional at his job, in fact, that he just turned this little slight into a sea of 50th-anniversary publicity for both his cereal and parent company PepsiCo (PEP). Respect the rank.
Copyright © 2014 Microsoft. All rights reserved.
Fundamental company data and historical chart data provided by Morningstar Inc. Real-time index quotes and delayed quotes supplied by Morningstar Inc. Quotes delayed by up to 15 minutes, except where indicated otherwise. Fund summary, fund performance and dividend data provided by Morningstar Inc. Analyst recommendations provided by Zacks Investment Research. StockScouter data provided by Verus Analytics. IPO data provided by Hoover's Inc. Index membership data provided by Morningstar Inc.
[BRIEFING.COM] Equity indices closed out the month of August on a modestly higher note. The Russell 2000 (+0.6%) and Nasdaq Composite (+0.5%) finished ahead of the S&P 500 (+0.3%), which extended its August gain to 3.8%. Blue chips lagged with the Dow Jones Industrial Average (+0.1%) spending the bulk of the session in the red.
The final week of August represented one of the quietest stretches for the stock market so far this year. The first four sessions of the week produced the ... More
More Market News
These hot movers could rise by double digits in coming months.
MUST-SEE ON MSN
- Video: Easy DIY smoked meats at home
A charcuterie master shares his process for cold-smoking meat at home.
- Jetpacks about to go mainstream
- Weird things covered by home insurance
- Bing: 70 percent of adults report 'digital eye strain'