Powerball's wacky sense of humor

The multistate lottery has a bit of fun on its website. Of course, it's easy to be lighthearted when you're giving away $600 million.

By Kim Peterson May 17, 2013 4:19PM
Sheila Sutton updates the Powerball prize money sign at the Super C convenience store in Lincoln, Neb., Friday, May 17, 2013 (© Nati Harnik/AP Photo)Life is fun when you have $600 million on your hands. Just ask the folks at Powerball.

The lottery has quite a sense of humor on display on its information and its "real letters" pages. The Multi-State Lottery Association gets tons of email -- as much as one per minute on days like Friday when Powerball fever is at its peak -- and so it set out to answer some of the most common player questions.

Here are some of the words of wisdom from the stand-up comedians over at Powerball:

Leave the chickens alone. "Swinging a live chicken above your head while wishing for the future numbers does NOT work," the site notes. "There is no improvement to be had by swinging a dead chicken. Although I have not tested it, swinging a bucket of extra crispy is not likely to work either." This will not be welcome news at Yum Brands' (YUM) KFC.

Powerball tickets do expire. Usually from 90 days to a year. "The universe is decaying and nothing lasts forever," the association says. Deep.

Powerball is indeed a random game. "There really is no white/black/old/young/rich/poor, etc. button on the machine," the association says. "If one draws a box around some group of players (e.g., state border, hair color, shoe size), then that group of players will win in proportion to their play." It makes no difference where you buy your ticket, either.

When an annuity is not guaranteed. "You can imagine some instances where even a Powerball jackpot will not continue: (1) A meteor strikes North America, wiping out all life. (2) The U.S. government is overrun by (insert name of feared enemy here). Short of these events, the Powerball annuity prize will be paid on schedule."

In answering a player question about the number 19: "I like it. An odd mix of the smallest number and the largest -- together in one package. It speaks to the extremes of the Universe and yet shows how they can be inexorably tied. . . Although a mere number, as humans, we can't but help to tie it to other numbers by which we judge ourselves."

On whether felons can win: "An ESCAPED convicted felon could play and win. But, as far as I know, there are no lottery terminals in the hoosegow."

On one woman's Powerball strategy argument with her fiance:
"You really don’t want to get into this, do you? Better to wait until after the wedding before you start proving to him that are always right."

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7Comments
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I told my boss if I win the lottery... I would give him a two week notice.... I would call him up in 2 weeks and say... "hey... have you "noticed" I haven't been there the past two weeks?"  HA

May 17, 2013 11:47PM
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If I win powerball jackpot of 600 million dollars, honest to God I will give all of it to my wife if she leaves me alone
Jun 3, 2013 1:47PM
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I bought a ticket in Zephyrhills , fl. when I was down there , I did not check it ,because they said some lady won it . so I put it in my loser bin, well now im going to check & see if I have the winner.
May 18, 2013 1:43AM
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My best friend has lung cancer and about a month to live, so I bought him a  Powerball ticket.  I figure he's just about used up his bad luck and it would be morbidly funny if he won.
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