12/9/2013 3:45 PM ET|
The worst holiday gifts
Fruitcake is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to hazards of the holiday season.
The old saying is right: It is better to give than receive. And that's never been more true when you're on the receiving end of a gift gone wrong.
Yes, it's the thought that counts, but deep down inside, even Pollyannas must admit that it stinks to receive a bad gift. One second, you're wondering if behind the wrapping paper is something that might change your life, and the next, you're staring at an XXL T-shirt that says, "The U.S. Nude Roller Blading Team."
"As if I would ever wear that [shirt] out in public," says Gusoff, who owns Bubby Gram, a singing telegram, celebrity impersonation and party company in New York City. "Geez, you can't even regift these things."
So when you're shopping this holiday season, try to learn from others' mistakes. To ensure a genuine smile on your recipient's face when he or she tears open the wrapping paper, keep these types of bad gifts in mind.
Extremely cheap gifts
There is thrifty – and cheap. Nobody's going to think less of you or shake their head and chuckle if you score a sweater on the clearance rack that's 85 percent off. But if you make a habit of buying gifts based only on price and not considering what the person on the receiving end will think, well, people will start figuring it out.
Silvana Clark, a writer and speaker in Seattle, remembers that part of her mother's legacy. When it came to buying gifts, she was very, very cheap.
"Worse, she was an apartment manager," Clark says. "So when tenants moved out and tossed stuff in the Dumpster, she would climb in the Dumpster to find usable items. She was 70 and still doing this, so a tenant put a sign on the fence by the Dumpster that said, 'Help Helga out. If you have good clothes or furniture, put it OUTSIDE the Dumpster.'"
Knowing where her mother's gifts typically came from, Clark and her family were always a bit wary about receiving them. "Her theory was if she took something from the Dumpster and washed it three times, all the germs were gone, and it was OK to wear," Clark says.
Rochelle Peachey, an entrepreneur who splits her time between Miami and London, received a Christmas card from an aunt four years ago. When she opened it, it was empty except for a note that said, "Buy your own gift!"
It seemed kind of mean, but then Peachey realized her aunt forgot to put a gift card in the envelope. Whoops. The lesson: Don't rush the gift wrapping or card stage.
Gifts that are veiled insults
Peachey also once received a voucher from Groupon for two hours of house cleaning from her mother-in-law, who explained the gift by saying, "Because you are so busy."
"My husband laughed so hard, we ended up having a fight," Peachey says.
Religiously or politically inappropriate gifts
When the pressure is on to complete your gift list, sale signs may impair your judgment. But it's important to keep your recipient's political or religious affiliation in mind.
Michal Ann Strahilevitz, a professor of marketing at Golden Gate University in San Francisco, says several people have given her mugs that look like Santa, and she's also received a sweatshirt featuring a nativity scene. She is Jewish.
Generally inappropriate gifts
While gift-giving isn't a science, forgetting or being oblivious to someone's world view seems to be the main reason a present appears off-kilter to the receiver and everyone else. For instance, you might think you're showcasing the importance of family by giving a framed picture of yourself to a relative; they might think you're narcissistic. Or you might think your gift of a mop delivers the subtlest of hints that you wish your daughter-in-law would clean the kitchen floor more often. Meanwhile, she feels like she's been clubbed with a mallet.
Dena Roché, a publicist in Phoenix, says when she was a newlywed in 1998, she received lingerie. A nice gift, but she wasn't crazy about the source: her in-laws.
"That play for grandkids was ill-conceived," says Roché, who divorced her husband last year. She tried to return the favor by later giving her mother-in-law a red thong, which, for a while, she and her in-laws kept regifting each other. And for those wondering, the in-laws never did get those grandkids.
Clark's mother, Helga Vranjes, certainly should have used more forethought in how her presents would be received. Vranjes, who passed away a few years ago at age 82, once gave her granddaughter a few packages of lunch meat as a Christmas gift. "That was for, 'In case you get hungry,'" Clark says. "It wasn't that my mom was senile. She just didn't see things from other people's perspective."
And if Vranjes had, she might have realized that the large, glass, car-shaped canister – filled with alcohol – wasn't an appropriate gift for her granddaughter, who was 16 at the time.
On another occasion, Vranjes gave her best friend's 12-year-old son a sparkly jewelry box with a twirling ballerina. He was into sports and had no interest in ballet. "But she liked the way the ballerina twirled, so she thought the boy would like it also," Clark says.
"She gave my husband an 'I Love Nixon' coffee mug," Clark recalls. "He didn't love Nixon, and Reagan was president."
But the recipients of unusual and lousy gifts would do well to keep some perspective, too, especially over the holidays, when not everyone has unlimited funds – and they may have a completely different mindset.
"In my mom's defense," Clark says, "she grew up in Germany during World War II and had to economize on food and clothing. It was a struggle to survive, and she never lost that need to find a way to survive."
More from U.S. News & World Report:
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best bad gift I've heard of:
Woman receives $200 giftcard to a bookstore from an aunt. She's student and rather poor, so this is wonderful. She goes, spends a few hours selecting and hits the register for $195 and change; and hands over the card. The clerk rings in and says the balance is $193 and change, how do you want to pay the balance....
Aunt had sent her a used giftcard with a little over $2 on it.
Some of you people had really better consider whether the person giving the gift was mentally ill, and if so, laughing at their condition is really pitiful. Mentally ill people have a hard time during holidays, and keeping up with all of this gift giving and expected cheerfulness is harder still. Give 'em a break!
The best 'bad' x-mas card I saw was when you opened it up, a elderly lady was' flipping you off' with the caption reading, "SOMETIMES WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH" !
Very appropriate & politically correct for a few !!
5 years running I received a videotape of the "biggest sports bloopers" from my brothers wife at that time....
Because they were always available on the "Buy 5 Video's for 10 $" rack at the local save-mart....BUT HEY.....who doesn't love having 3 copies of the same boring show on a medium that NOBODY uses anymore.......now if I can just find a VCR in some old pawn shop somewhere to actually watch them once in awhile......
My aunt used to give my mother gifts that were the wrong size or that she knew she'd hate. Mama would give them back to my aunt who would end up, not replacing the gift, but using it herself.
Back when I was unemployed ,I received a gift card for Walmart. I went to Wallyworld and bought some groceries and at check out found out the card had only 63 cents on it. I had to put my groceries on VISA as I didn't have the cash to spend. THAT is a bad gift! The card was a card that someone else had given to the person that gave it to me.
Another bad gift was when I gave a certain gift to someone and she unthinkingly regifted me with it the next Christmas! If you are going to re-gift, for cripes sake keep a note of who gave it to you and avoid regifting it to them or someone close to them.
Another bad gift was from the very wealthy woman who insisted on giving tasteless homemade cookies in ugly containers she found at thrift shops. I am all for homemade gifts if someone is a great crafter or baker and/or just can not afford to give anything more. But if you are richer than G-d and can't bake worth a crap, please don't insult your recipients with gifts that end up in the compost and recycling bins!
One year my mom gave me the free Clinique gift that comes with purchase but she had taken out all the things she wanted and just gave me the left overs. Merry Christmas. Don't tell me it's the thought that counts, the thought there was worse than giving me nothing at all.
Cheap gifts aren't bad if you've put a lot of thought into them.
The one year I was in college, me and my 2 closest guy friends were broker than broke. The running gag all year was, whenever one of us saw something we liked, the rest would comment, "I'll get you one for Christmas."
There was a fancy jewelry store in our local shopping district that we often had to pass on our way to the bookstore. I'd nudge my guy friends and point to the jewels and say, "Look! Sharp pointy sparkly shiny rocks! Chicks dig sharp pointy sparkly shiny rocks!" The standard response of "I'll get you one for Christmas" always followed.
At one point during the year, we were watching some movies we had rented from the library. There's a scene in the movie Gladiator where one merchant remarks to another, "You sold me queer giraffes!" It became another "I'll get you one for Christmas" joke.
We also watched Lord of the Rings. As the fellowship rode out over the landscape, I heard my buddy Louis say, "I want a horsey!" I remarked to Louis that he was in college and shouldn't be using words like "horsey" but that, regardless, I would get him one for Christmas.
I also mentioned to them that I liked to dance with my mop on Saturday mornings while I was cleaning.
All of that leads up to our Christmas party.
Phill got a queer giraffe. (A stuffed giraffe doll with sunglasses and a pink feather boa.)
Louis got a horsey. (A My Little Pony)
I got sharp pointy sparkly shiny rocks. (Louis found some rocks on the beach, sharpened them on the ground, and glued glitter to them.)
I also got a mop from Phill. On the handle, he wrote "Dance like you mean it."
We split a case of Yoo-Hoos. Best Christmas party ever! :)
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