Evaluating your situation
The ability to retain their independence ranks high on the priority list of aging Americans. Few anticipate that their kids might someday cheat them out of their retirement savings. Paula Mixson, a certified guardian and the clerk of the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse, says that she would caution older adults to consider a child's history of substance abuse, chemical dependency and other addictions (such as compulsive gambling) when settling on a financial caretaker.
Mixson says parents are often hesitant to admit a child might not be up to the task, and parents often feel a child's failing is their own fault and continue to shoulder a filial responsibility for their actions.
"I once had an elderly client tell me that she didn't want anything done about her son, who had pushed her down the stairs, because if he wasn't allowed to live with her, 'It was winter and he'd be living under a bridge,'" says Mixson.
Women frequently targeted
Although anyone can fall victim to elder financial abuse, women are more likely to do so. For biological and demographic reasons, women are targeted more often, says Pamela Teaster, the director of the Graduate Center for Gerontology at the University of Kentucky, and one of the authors of the MetLife Study of Elder Financial Abuse.
"Women still tend to live seven years longer than their male counterparts," Teaster says.
Making plans
Planning for the future involves more than simply making a will or crunching the numbers to make sure there's enough income on which to live. It's also a time to plan ahead for the eventuality that someone else will have to take over the checkbook.
Kevin Schwartz, of the California-based law firm Schwartz & Schwartz, says, "Many people still have that feeling of, 'Well, it will never happen to me . . . my children get along great and will take care of me if and when I need it. I certainly have nothing to worry about.'"
Schwartz says that when planning for financial security, one should choose someone who isn't just "good with money," but who is "good with other people's money" as well.
Ideally, these issues should be addressed with an attorney during estate planning, but even seniors with tiny incomes and small estates can fall victim to predatory relatives. For them, the best alternative would be to avoid becoming isolated and ask others outside the family to check on their welfare.
"Don't allow one family member to alienate you from the rest of the family," says Mixson. "If you can't leave your home, then find ways to bring different people into your home. Always realize that elder (financial) abuse can happen to you."
