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Chow down: Getting your fill at all-you-can-eat buffets

Big eaters share their tips.

By Karen Datko Oct 9, 2009 1:25AM

You've probably heard about the two big guys in Houma, La., who were charged extra at an all-you-can-eat buffet -- the waitress supposedly said, "Ya'll fat, and ya'll eat too much" -- and claimed they were banned from the place as well. Well, those guys couldn't hold a candle to Nick at Punny Money.

We thank Clever Dude for directing us to Nick's side-splitting, belt-busting post, "Eat your money's worth at any all-you-can-eat buffet." Clever Dude also provides a link to getting the most from a side salad when Pizza Hut limits you to one bowl.

Buffets are great for people on a budget. But, Nick observes, "one major problem has plagued buffet-eaters throughout the ages: a few plates later and you can't eat any more." This problem will go belly up if you follow Nick's pre-meal, mealtime and post-meal tips. Forget about starving yourself earlier in the day. If you do that, "you'll usually find that your stomach can't handle the shock of going from 'help, need food' to '12 pounds of beef' just like that," Nick advises. Eat carbs to stimulate your appetite, don't forget to "clear the runway," and "break out the fat pants."

At the restaurant, eat meat, meat and more meat, and sip some water between trips to the buffet. On your fourth visit, you may now try other things. Then take a break, read a book, and rest up for the next go-round. Among the post-meal tips: Stay up for several hours before bedtime and drink water. "You know how your body is normally 70% water?" Nick writes. "After a buffet, it probably drops to about 12% water for a bit. Drink a glass or two of water to refill your body's liquid levels. It'll aid digestion too."

Published Jan. 3, 2008



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