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When should you tell your boyfriend you're rich?

Wouldn't we love to have that problem

By Karen Datko Sep 14, 2009 9:40PM

Wouldn't we all love to have this dilemma? Inspired by a letter to the editor at Money magazine, "Flexo" at Consumerism Commentary wonders when it's appropriate to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you're wealthy.


The letter writer apparently had been burned by some guy looking for a sugar momma.


Flexo says, "It's probably not appropriate if you're on the first few dates, but if you're starting to pick out rings or talk about living together, I don't see how these decisions can be made without full financial disclosure."


Still, when exactly should you confess your riches? As a personal-finance blogger, Flexo hasn't had to confront the issue. His girlfriend, "A.," can check out his blog anytime she wants to review his financial situation. (He does keep a secret "A. Fund" hidden in his  savings so he can surprise her every once in a while.)


His readers offered varying opinions. "FrugalTrader" from Million Dollar Journey opined that "once the relationship gets serious, financial compatibility is just as important as any other aspect in a relationship." "The Mighty Quinn" opted for after the engagement but before the wedding. James from Dual Income No Kids has no problem with a money discussion on the first date. Rachel wrote that she and her future husband talked about their finances on their third date.


We like this comment from Stephanie of Poorer Than You: "I think financial disclosure in the early stages of a relationship doesn't have to be about numbers -- it should be about values."


Reader Mike said, "Tell him when he asks why he's signing a prenup."


Published May 14, 2008



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