Should she buy her engagement ring?
They live together, and she covers most of the expenses.
Lots of once-routine spending decisions are undergoing scrutiny these days. Should one of them be who pays for the engagement ring?
"Miss M" posed that question at M is for Money. She knows what she wants in a ring, but her intended, "Mr. M," can't afford it. "If this ring is so important to me, then why don't I buy it for myself? Why should I burden Mr. M's finances with something he can't afford?" she wrote.
Here may be the crux of the matter: "If I wait till he can afford a
ring, I may be waiting forever," she added. They've been together for
More about her situation: She makes a very good salary. Mr. M is a Hollywood production designer who earns great money when he's working. However, a lot of the time he's not. She covers the majority of the household expenses.
So what's a woman in love to do? Her situation raises some interesting questions, including:
- Does it matter how much an engagement ring costs? She admitted she's a slave to advertisers on this point, but she's made up her mind (and assured her readers that the ring she desires is quite modest). "I feel like I've waited too long to settle for something that doesn't make me happy," she said.
- Can she and Mr. M be comfortable with the decision if she buys the ring? He's not crazy about it, she reported, and, truth be told, she really isn't either. "Part of me still longs for a more traditional life. Am I modern and liberated or still shackled to roles more suited to the Middle Ages?" she wrote. "Some days, I don't know."
As you can imagine, readers' thoughts covered the gamut. For example:
- "Frugal Dreamer" said: "I don't think that there should be ‘rules' on how a couple goes about getting engaged. Every relationship is different, and I think it's completely up to you and Mr. M."
- Others said a ring is a sign of a man's commitment and thus he should pay for it himself.
- Here's one thought that occurred to us as well: Blogger "444" said, "I don't want to butt in, but I sense some issues involving resentment over his income and financial contributions, and I hope that does not cloud the whole marriage."
- And finally, this from "Stacking Pennies": "You seem totally comfortable with being the breadwinner (true?), so if his underemployment is something you think you can live with, don't let the ring be the hurdle."
Copyright © 2013 Microsoft. All rights reserved.
Quotes are real-time for NASDAQ, NYSE and AMEX. See delay times for other exchanges.
Fundamental company data and historical chart data provided by Thomson Reuters (click for restrictions). Real-time quotes provided by BATS Exchange. Real-time index quotes and delayed quotes supplied by Interactive Data Real-Time Services. Fund summary, fund performance and dividend data provided by Morningstar Inc. Analyst recommendations provided by Zacks Investment Research. StockScouter data provided by Verus Analytics. IPO data provided by Hoover's Inc. Index membership data provided by SIX Financial Information.
ABOUT SMART SPENDING
LATEST BLOG POSTS
Take an extra step before donating to a charity that claims to be helping tornado victims: Research them first.