When should you tell your boyfriend you're rich?
Wouldn't we love to have that problem
Wouldn't we all love to have this dilemma? Inspired by a letter to the editor at Money magazine, "Flexo" at Consumerism Commentary wonders when it's appropriate to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you're wealthy.
The letter writer apparently had been burned by some guy looking for a sugar momma.
Flexo says, "It's probably not appropriate if you're on the first few dates, but if you're starting to pick out rings or talk about living together, I don't see how these decisions can be made without full financial disclosure."
Still, when exactly should you confess your riches? As a personal-finance blogger, Flexo hasn't had to confront the issue. His girlfriend, "A.," can check out his blog anytime she wants to review his financial situation. (He does keep a secret "A. Fund" hidden in his savings so he can surprise her every once in a while.)
His readers offered varying opinions. "FrugalTrader" from Million Dollar Journey opined that "once the relationship gets serious, financial compatibility is just as important as any other aspect in a relationship." "The Mighty Quinn" opted for after the engagement but before the wedding. James from Dual Income No Kids has no problem with a money discussion on the first date. Rachel wrote that she and her future husband talked about their finances on their third date.
We like this comment from Stephanie of Poorer Than You: "I think financial disclosure in the early stages of a relationship doesn't have to be about numbers -- it should be about values."
Reader Mike said, "Tell him when he asks why he's signing a prenup."
Published May 14, 2008
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ABOUT SMART SPENDING
Editor Bev O'Shea lives and works in the foothills of the Appalachians. A former copy editor for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and the Orlando Sentinel, she joined MSN Money in 2007. She's a fan of sunsets, college football and free shipping, among other things.
Having worked as a writer, reporter and editor for more than 25 years, Editor Julie Tilsner is the sort of person who can't help but correct grammar in Facebook postings and on billboards. She's written for BusinessWeek, the Los Angeles Times, Parenting, Redbook, AOL and others. She lives in Los Angeles County with her family and loves to drink wine and practice yoga, although not generally at the same time.
A writer for MSN Money since January 2007, Donna Freedman won regional and national prizes during an 18-year newspaper career and earned a college degree in midlife without taking out student loans. She also writes about smart money tactics for magazines and on her own site, Surviving and Thriving.
Mitch Lipka has been warning people about scams and shining light on questionable business practices for more than 20 years. Mitch, the consumer columnist for The Boston Globe, has also been a reporter and editor at The Philadelphia Inquirer, Consumer Reports, South Florida Sun-Sentinel and AOL. He won the 2010 New York Press Club award for best consumer reporting online and was honored in 2011 for his reporting on child product safety.
Marilyn Lewis is an award-winning writer with a passion for getting readers clear, straight information that helps them stay out of financial trouble. A former reporter for The San Jose Mercury News, she works from her home in Port Townsend, Wash. Contact her at MarilynLewis@Outlook.com.
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