
Mom and Dad help out -- as usual
More and more adult children are depending on their parents for financial help.
This post comes from Lynn Mucken at MSN Money.
Fifty-nine percent of parents provide financial support for their adult children who no longer are in school, according to a survey done for Forbes.
To which I have two questions: "That few?" And, "What's new?"
The Forbes story has the statistics -- unemployment rate over 14% for 20- to 24-year-olds, huge debt from college loans, etc. -- while my evidence is merely anecdotal. At dinner with friends or on the golf course with buddies, it is a recurring conversation.
Sometimes it is a daughter whose marriage has gone bad moving back home, with a young child. Sometimes it is a down payment on a house. Or back-to-school shopping for the grandkids. Maybe a little cash here and there.
Always there is a little shrug that says, "What else could I do? We're the parents and they're the children -- forever perhaps."
About a month ago, I wrote a blog post, "Don’t blame the kids; it's tough out there," that compared education costs, job availability and home prices now and a generation ago. My conclusions were backed by Forbes' survey: One in three older parents say their children are worse off than they were at the same age.
I suspect -- again, just anecdotal evidence -- that if you eliminate from the equation the children who do not need assistance and the parents who flat can't help, the percentage receiving support from Mom and Dad might runs closer to 85% (with some offspring, you eventually have to say no).
And it's probably always been that way.
My parents didn't have much of anything except kids -- there were seven of us. Mom was a homemaker and Dad was a grocery clerk. At one point, my oldest sister, her husband and their new baby were living in the basement, while my oldest brother, his wife and their new baby were living in the attic of my parents' small three-bedroom house. Oh, at the same time, my mom came home from the hospital with her final child (the three babies were born in a 12-day span).
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Helped through a tough moment by parents who didn't have much to spare, the squatters eventually moved out and on to wonderful, productive lives.
I was just a freshman in high school, oblivious to real-world finances. It was only years later, when my wife and I were raising our own children, that I realized the enormity of what my parents had done in housing and feeding 13 people on one man's rather ordinary wages.
Now I understand. It's what parents do.
More on MSN Money:
Parents NEED to say no. It's called tough love, and it works. I knew from a young age that my parents would not bail me out if I made mistakes with money or didn't work hard enough to support myself. Their motto was this: we will be your safety net so you never hit rock bottom, but we will never be your hammock. I'm 26 years old. My husband and I own a small home, work hard and live well within our means. Neither of us has a college education or a trust fund. I have plenty of friends/classmates who are still living with their parents, going to grad school, racking up ridiculous amounts of debt trying to 'find themselves'. They pay no rent, always have the latest designer bags, new cars and cash to blow, but say they can't afford to move out because the apartments they can afford are below their standards. Hmmm...in my opinion, they have become too accustomed to mom and dad's lifestyle.
Aw Cmon in most cases they don't even have one job. My daughter is in the reserves only, she did have a job but had to leave it ifor reserve duty, which was great but then it ended. We find that most people don't want to hire you because you have that commitment.
Tough tooties to them. She is now currently pregnant and when she has the baby, tricare (medical) will take up all of her reserve pay. She gets money from the baby's father but can not get a job right now because she is pregnant. After she has the kid she will be looking for another job. But who will hire her? She can go back to her other job and work only 12 hours a week but that didn't pay squat. You can't afford childcare with that. So what would you do? Let your daughter and grandbaby live on the streets and starve?
you are heartless if you say yes. Now if she had a job and just blew it (like my sister did) then I would say no (but feed the grandbaby). Sorry I got on my soapbox and couldn't jump off. ![]()
It is just a touchy subject to me. My sister used my parents in that way and they had to file for bankruptcy and it just ticks me off.
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