41 reasons I'm not lending you money

This post comes from Len Penzo at partner blog Len Penzo dot Com.

Earlier this year, The Huffington Post featured a curious article that attempted to explain why our friends often fail to repay money they borrow from us.

In a nutshell, the piece offered five reasons:

• You refuse to ask for the money back.
• You make it too easy for your friends to ignore you.
• You didn't get the loan in writing.
• Your friends assume that their unpaid debt won't result in a broken friendship.
• Your friends never planned to give you the money back in the first place.

Strangely enough, the author failed to offer the most logical -- not to mention obvious -- reason why anyone would ever fail to repay a loan from a friend or relative: The borrower's a deadbeat.

Truth be told, I have occasionally loaned money to my financially pinched friends and relatives. Not often, but I have.

In several cases, I've offered the cash with no strings attached, because I believed the bind they were in was due to something out of their control.

That being said, if you happen to be a friend of mine who's been thinking about asking me for a loan, keep in mind that your odds of success will be extremely remote if one or more of the following are true:

• You refuse to get a job -- any job.
• You've got a million reasons why you can't work a second job.
  
• You drive a 2012 Lexus when a 1997 Honda Civic will do.

• You insist on living somewhere with a high cost of living even though your income (or lack thereof) can't support it.
• You fail to understand that debt is a mortgage on your future.
• Your priorities are all screwed up.
• You live in a larger home than you can reasonably afford.
• You refuse to raise additional cash by selling some of your "toys."
• You prefer to blame others for your poor financial situation.
• You're materialistic.
• You fail to comprehend the concept of value.
• You've got a closet full of $200 designer jeans.
• You own a $500 handbag.
• You wear $400 Louis Vuitton Millionaire sunglasses.
• You play the lottery on a regular basis.
• Your teenager drives a brand-new car when a beater will do.
• You think money grows on trees.
• You insist that packing a brown-bag lunch is a waste of time.
• You recently completed an ambitious kitchen remodel even though it wasn't really needed.
• You own five dogs, three cats, a cockatoo and an anaconda.
• You refuse to quit smoking.
• You're woefully disorganized.
• You can't tell me exactly how much money you earn each month.
• You can't explain -- nor do you have any idea -- where your money goes every month.
• You refuse to save money by eating leftovers.
• You believe it's all about living in the moment.
• You just got back from a 10-day Caribbean cruise.
• You have no concept of personal responsibility.
• You failed to maintain rainy-day and emergency funds.
• You own an iPhone.
• You eat out too much.
• You're still sending your child to private school.
• You're a big believer in keeping up with the Joneses.
• You have a gardener. (Never mind that his leaf blower wakes me up every Saturday morning.)
• You just bought another large-screen high-definition television.
• You seem to think that poor planning on your part constitutes an emergency on mine.
• Your spouse refuses to get a job.
• You don't know the difference between a want and a need.
• You've shown no inclination to change your financially destructive behavior.
• You haven't established a credible plan for digging yourself out of debt.

And if that's not enough for you, here's one more: Quite frankly, I'm tired of coddling people who refuse to sacrifice and make the same hard decisions that I do every day in order to ensure I live within my means.

Is that harsh? No -- that's life.

So, now that I've made myself perfectly clear, do you still want to ask me for a loan?

More on Len Penzo dot Com and MSN Money:

• If you can't live on $40,000 annually it's your own fault
• Why your expensive luxury car doesn't impress smart people
• The 50 biggest money mistakes household CEOs make
• How to shop for a personal loan
• How to lend to family and friends
• 7 signs you're a shopaholic