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Credit score query on first date?

Some think that asking a potential mate about his or her credit rating is a must very early on in the process, even on the first date.

By Karen Datko Dec 31, 2012 4:28PM

Image: Couple holding hands (© Corbis/Corbis)Would you ask someone about their credit score on a first date? Would a low score alone destroy your interest?

 

That's really happened, says The New York Times, adding that interviews with more than 50 people younger than 40 who are on the dating scene strongly suggest that a good credit score is now a romance essential. It's "sometimes eclipsing more traditional priorities like a good job, shared interests and physical chemistry," the story said.

 

There are even online dating sites dedicated to matching up creditworthy people.

 

We have to wonder: Is this really a trend? And, if so, does it give credit scoring undeserved importance in our lives?

 

"I've always considered 'what's your credit score?' to be more of a third date sort of question," a Times reader wrote.

 

Commented another: "I would walk out on a date who had the temerity to ask me that. Definitively not an appropriate question when one begins dating. How grotesque and materialistic."

 

Agreed. However, if your relationship has legs, you do need to talk about money. Don't hesitate to query your love interest about credit scores, debt and other indicators of financial well-being. Eventually make a date to examine each other's credit reports and other documents.

MYNorthwest.com shares the story of a maid of honor who had to tell all the wedding guests that the bride had changed her mind because the groom had hidden debts.

 

There are other practical considerations for gravitating toward those with a good credit history and avoiding those without. While your solid credit can remain intact even if you marry someone with bad credit, that could change if you combine accounts. If you buy a house together, your spouse's credit scores will affect the interest rate you get. And if your partner can't qualify for a decent car loan, chances are you'll have to step in and you alone will be considered responsible for the payments.

 

Besides, could you really be happy with someone who struggles with paying bills on time?

 

But asking about credit scores on a first date? That seems to cross the line into "none of your business."

 

Jen Doll on The Atlantic Wire expressed doubt that this is, in fact, a trend. But, just in case, here's part of Doll's guide to assessing your date's numbers:

  • "800-850 is 'MARRIAGE POTENTIAL DING DING DING'
  • "750-800 is 'take him/her home to Mom'
  • "700-750 is a 'fixer-upper'
  • "650-700 is 'fun for a night out, maybe, but bring cash'
  • "600-650 is 'keep lookin'!'"

When's the right time to inquire about a prospective partner's credit scores? Do you know of anyone who found out the hard way that their betrothed or spouse had lousy credit or secret debt?

 

More on MSN Money:

38Comments
Dec 31, 2012 7:29PM
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Asking before marriage and asking during a first date are two entirely different things.
Dec 31, 2012 7:43PM
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Tidewater27 your as pathetic as the ones in this interview and to ask  anyone what their score was, is like talking about their political view or about their ex's on a first date. Get real... (Actually, one's credit score is a mirror, and an "indicator", of such positive traits as initiative, responsibility, conscientiousness, respect, integrity, the possession of morals and ethics) your words all these has nothing to do with a persons self worth or how good of a partner they would be.

Posession of morals has nothing to do with credit score.  I guess you have never known anyone to have lost their job or go through a divorce.. TRY it and see where you sit in life.

We live in a pathetic society that quantitates an invidual for their monetary worth.  Love and dating is not about money or there score, I guess you have never heard the words for better or worse , richer or poorer.

But then again I will assume you and the rest of the little 30 something yr olds will be single and pethetic for a very long time.

Dec 31, 2012 7:25PM
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who cares about a credit score pay cash like our grandparents  did  thats why we are all in debt up to our eyeballs

Dec 31, 2012 7:38PM
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You shouldn't just bash someone with a low credit score because  there are usually reasons job loss, illness etc. 
Dec 31, 2012 10:58PM
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     Would love for someone to ask me about my FICO on the first date. Then I'd know not to bother with a second date!
Dec 31, 2012 11:49PM
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If a financial windfall is the object of your romance that makes you a prostitute plain and simple. I have more respect for hookers that let you know up front it's about money not the pretense of love.
Dec 31, 2012 10:30PM
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No wonder so many 30 year olds still live at home.  Heh!
Dec 31, 2012 9:21PM
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Many people don't look at the character of the person they are dating. They just look at the person's wallet (including their credit score, debts, assets, etc).

Also, men are more like women these days, and many men are looking for a sugar momma. They want a woman to spend money on them and take care of them. Some men won't date any woman who earns under six figures...so they don't date at all, because let's face it , a lot of people don't have six figure incomes, male or female.  I also think its crass and rude to ask someone their salary on a first date. That should be reserved for a more serious relationship. Stop asking on the first date.

Dec 31, 2012 11:12PM
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Wonder what the credit companies are paying for this exposure?  Great way to make insecure people pay to get their credit score.  If someone asked my credit score on a first date I would think they were a jerk and refuse to go out with them again.
Jan 1, 2013 12:40AM
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LOL Why would anyone tell there credit score to someone on the first date .... Only a Lonely Moron would do so.
Jan 1, 2013 3:26AM
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People who require a credit score before a date will have a hard time getting any dates. Excuse me, my credit score is none of my date's damn business, and if that is the prerequisite I won't date her.  A previous comment compared this to talking politics on the first date.  I'll go a step further and compare it to me asking for her weight.  I cannot believe anyone would reveal their credit score to get a date, and they shouldn't.

Jan 1, 2013 1:54AM
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First, this seems to be the most idiotic femi-trend I have ever read about and likewise it tends to support the fact that writers today will write just about anything to get attention. A desperate, sad and pathetic group. Second, nowhere in this article is it mentioned that other documented conditions, such as IQ scores, emotional health, physical health histories, life histories and family dysfunction interviews should be evaluated prior to any date. Maybe this is because it is these conditions and not a credit score that will absolutely affect long term happiness, financial stability and/or long term family success. Further, within this "Man has Martian Baby" type article, one might even infer that credit score criteria is just another marker trend of many years of clear bias in divorce rulings across the nation. For instance, when similar "UFO has landed" articles are referenced which state that a married couple on average makes 41% more than a single person, one can only speculate on how the courts figure financial contributions somehow equated to 50/50 prior to divorce. Finally, above all else, if this is somehow a true trend in dating, then it unquestionably presents the fact that most (all) dating people are potential gold-diggers, not dignified business people. A mental health condition that most people would recognize immediately upon being asked a credit score on a date. Unless, of course, it was a special needs "writer of financial crap"  who for one reason or another could easily be overlooked as not even being dating material because of serious emntal issues and not a credit score.

 

 

Jan 1, 2013 5:53AM
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Personally I’ve never been ask for my credit score on a date and if I were I seriously doubt there would be a second date. And its not that I would mind her knowing my score, after all it was close to 800 back when I was dating a lot, which is not too shabby. The problem is I wouldn’t want to date a girl who’s not intelligent enough to know that asking for your date’s credit score is inappropriate. Neither would I want to date someone who thinks that, in and of itself, a low credit score is a sufficient reason not to continue dating someone. In fact, I have no interest in knowing a women like that. Of course your partners credit score is important to know before you get married but you will likely know it long before then without even having to ask. 
Jan 1, 2013 3:42AM
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When you take your vows to get married..dosent it say somewhere "for richer or poorer"?..not "how is your credit score now"..if someone wont date you because your cedit score isnt perfect..then you dont want that person in your life!

Jan 1, 2013 3:25AM
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I don't know why this article offends me terribly!  Just one more indication that $$$$ is all we think about! We measure each other and make all our personal decisions around credit scores and the almighty income!  Bling, bling, oppulence and greed and i couldn't possibly love you if your money issues are below 600!!!!.......now in the spiritual world, or whatever religion you may profess to follow or believe,  i'm pretty certain that God, whatever you esteem that to be,  wouldn't approve of basing a potential mate on a credit score!!  and i think we're one of the few countries in the world who use this rating system to stigmatize people!  There are white collar crooks out there who bilked so many folks during the financial crisis and never had to go to prison, but you bet their credit score is just fine!  Whereas the guy or girl who got in trouble for whatever reason has a funky credit score and can't get a date?!!!!   This country is materialistic, sick and twisted with a very hypocritical value system!
Jan 1, 2013 3:20AM
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In today's economy that is just unfair.  And, not to be sexist, simply a realist, I would assume that it would be mostly women who are asking that question (men do care, but not nearly as much as they care about everything physically being in its right place).  I could happily love someone who is rich, poor, or in between, but I could never love someone who cares more about money than they do about people.  My sister always says she would not marry a guy who did not buy her a nice ring, and I always say that I would never marry a girl who would not marry a guy who did not buy her a nice ring.  It is not the price of something that matters, it is the person offering it to you that matters. 
Jan 1, 2013 2:28AM
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Sounds like a logical new product for birth control.  "Try this credit score on for size"?

Do away with credit all-together.  Let's return to the barter system.

 

Credit scores are used for employment, insurance, etc.....

 

Leave love alone...will ya?  Who said love needs to be capitalistic?  If so....there isn't such a thing.  And it is becoming apparent there isn't any longer.  Bosh!

 

Jan 10, 2013 6:01PM
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The writer of this article Karen Datko must be single and having no luck in finding men and probably never will.  Why she should just state "I am a Gold Digger and want a man to pay everything for me."
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